This one night
by dutchtreat
Summary: DL. This is what I hope happened after 'Silent Night'. Lindsay has to make a decision about the past that is haunting her. And is Danny going to accept that decision? A winter's tale.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** They're not mine. Just borrowed them to play around with

**Spoilers:** This was at first based on the spoilers for Season 3, Episode 12 (Silent Night), but since that has aired now, this is what I think should have been the D/L we all missed so much in that episode.

**AN:** The start of this story is angsty, but I promise a (sort of) fluffy ending

* * *

**This one night (this cold December night)**

Chapter one

How could she have done that? Why did she tell Stella? Lindsay slowed down even more. Noticing the wooden bench next to the path she decided to sit down for a while, suddenly too tired to walk any further. The moment she sat down the memories of the last few hours, weeks, months filled her head again. She was such a fool; why did she lie to herself. "You're happy here Linds; you have a new life, new friends, what's in the past will stay in the past." The more she had said it, the more she had -almost- believed it.

But she should have known better. She should have known that the longer she kept her silence and did not tell her new colleagues and friends about the things she had left behind, the harder it would be to finally do so. And now she was lost. Her feelings for Danny had become so much more than she could ever have anticipated; so overwhelming that they almost consumed her. How could she ever look him straight in the eye and tell him? How could she explain why she had waited so long to open up to him? Would he ever understand? She was afraid of losing him if she didn't tell, but the fear of losing him if she did tell was just as great.

Shivering on the bench she pushed her hands deep into her pockets. Daylight was already fading and it seemed colder than the last few nights. Her constant worries had given her a growing feeling of home sickness over the last few weeks. And now that the holidays were near, all she could think about was going home. Running away from this cold grey city, back to the mountains where there was snow and fireplaces and family and old friends. People who knew her deepest fear and could understand why she was willing to give up a change of love.

She knew that her departure would hurt him so much, but he did not know that her pain would be equal to his. And he must never know. Because if he did, he would do anything to win her over and she would never be able to resist him. But it could never last; she would destroy him, destroy them. She didn't deserve happiness. Not now, maybe not ever.

A silent tear fell on her cheek. She knew what to do. There was only one thing she could do. She needed to be home, curl up in the warm embrace of those who loved her no matter what. Spend Christmas with them and with their help try to finally defeat those demons that still haunted her; demons she had to face, because running away had not been the answer. That was their only change. She owed him that.

* * *

Please R + R 


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:** Txs for the reviews! And because of **Michaela Martin**'s tip (txs again) I've edited some of the dialogue.

Here's some more angst!:

* * *

Chapter two

The sudden ringing of her phone startled her. More out of habit than actually realising what she did she answered it.

"Lindsay where are you, are you alright?" His voice sounded worried.

"I'm fine Danny, I just walked a bit to clear my head." She could hear him sigh at the other end of the line.

"I ran into Stella and she didn't think you were fine at all."

"Has she told you anything?" She noticed that the panic was clearly noticeable in her voice.

"No, nothing, only that I had to find you and talk to you! So where are you?"

"I don't want to talk to you, Danny. I am fine; Stella is just a little overprotective. I'm heading home now and will see you at work tomorrow."

"You don't sound…"

He was half way his sentence when he realised that she had hung up on him. He knew she was stubborn, but this was something else. She sounded so lost and afraid, but at the same time there was a determination in her voice he hadn't heard there for a while. He had to find out what was wrong; what was making her unhappier day after day. Why didn't she just ask for his help? "You're not getting away that easy, Montana" he mumbled to himself while quickly heading out of the precinct.

In a way she was glad he had called her. When she turned of her phone, making sure he couldn't call her back, she looked at the time; she had been sitting on that bench for almost two hours. It had been way past sunset and very, very cold. In her hurry to get away that afternoon she had forgotten to take her scarf, gloves and most important, her wallet, with her. So she had to walk home.

And now 45 minutes later, cold to the bone, she finally climbed the stairs that led up to the front door of her building. While concentrating on trying to turn her keys with numb fingers she didn't notice the silent figure next to the entrance.

"Let me help you with those." A gloved hand closed around hers and she jumped up at the sudden sight of him.

"Danny! What are you doing here? You scared me!"

"I scared you! What about me? You told me you were heading home! I've been waiting here for half an hour wondering what has happened to you, coming up with all kinds of horrible scenarios!" His concern made him sound even angrier than he was already. He grabbed her upper arms and looked her in the eyes. "What were you thinking? You even turned your phone of! Why don't you want to talk to me Lindsay?"

She struggled to escape his firm hold. "Let go of me, Danny! I don't owe you an explanation! I've told you that I'm fine and you just have to believe me."

He slowly loosened his grip. "Well, I don't believe you. You don't go walking around in this cold for hours, returning home almost frozen, if you're alright."

He suddenly sounded so defeated and so sweet that when she looked up into his beautiful eyes she almost gave in to the urge to tell him everything. At the last second she remembered her decision to go back home first to find out if they had a change at all, if she could solve anything, or even better, everything. And therefore he had to leave, now! She had to make him leave. "Whether I'm alright or not is still none of your business, Danny! I'm a grown woman and I don't need a babysitter! I am home now and you can go home too!" The sad look on his face assured her that she had at least sounded confident and angry enough to convince him.

"Are you sure that that's what you want?" He asked.

She quickly turned to unlock the door and stepped into the hallway. "Yes, Danny, that's what I want. Good night and I'll see you tomorrow."

Before he had a change to reply, she closed the door. Their eyes locked through the glass, but before he could witness the tears forming in hers, she closed them and looked down.

After what felt like a lifetime she opened them again. Outside the first snow of the season was falling and a lonely figure was slowly walking away from her. She watched him until the snow made him disappear. He didn't look back once.

* * *

Please R + R 


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: **Txs again for the reviews!

Third and final chapter. Because of the Holiday's I even put in a Christmas tree and the fluff I promised. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter three

It was snowing. He had reached the end of her street, wondering what had just happened, before he noticed that the world around him was turning white. He was still in shock about the way she had closed the door on him, on them. That afternoon when Stella had told him that Lindsay had opened up to her a little, he had been so happy. Maybe she had finally decided to tell people what had been bothering her the last few months. Maybe she wanted to start the New Year without any secrets.

But seeing her just a few minutes ago made him realise that she was more troubled than ever. The final look in her eyes, before she had closed them, had scared him. She was going to leave; he didn't want her to, but he just knew it, he had seen it. He was slowly losing her; she was slipping away from him and there was not much he could do about it.

He walked a few blocks, silently cursing her and her stubbornness. Maybe she had made up her mind already, but she was not alone in this. She did not have the right to make this decision alone; he was in this mess too, but at least he was willing to give it a try. He had to convince her that they were worth it; that they at least deserved a moment of happiness before she threw it all away.

Lindsay had taken a long, hot shower. The cold in her bones was gone, but the icy feeling in her heart was still there. Tomorrow she had to tell Mac that she was going home, back to Montana, for the holidays. She had to leave before she ran into Danny again. A part of her didn't think she had the strength to face him, but another part of her just desperately needed to see him, to touch him, to tell him she was sorry for the pain she had caused. She hated the way she had treated him, the way she had talked to him. He was the best thing that could ever happen to her and she could only hope that his feelings for her were strong enough to forgive her.

She put on a robe and took a towel with her out of the bathroom. She walked through her small apartment to the corner where her bed was and pushed away the room divider at the foot-end enabling her to see the huge Christmas tree she put up a day earlier. The twinkling lights of the tree were the only lights burning in the room. She sat down on her bed and started to dry her still soaking wet and warm hair. While staring at the hypnotising lights her mind wandered of again.

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the sound of her doorbell. She slowly got up and walked to the door to click on the intercom. "Hello?"

"Lindsay, let me in!"

She should have known it was him. She felt so stupid; why did she answer the doorbell? Now he knew she was home and she had to answer him. "Danny, why are you here again? Please go away."

"Let me in, Lindsay, or I am going to push every doorbell until somebody opens the front door!"

She knew he would do so and that there were always people –even in New York city- that opened the door without asking who was there; so with a sigh she pushed the button. "OK, come on up then!"

When he knocked on her door, she slowly opened it just enough to allow herself to see him. He was soaking wet; snow was melting in his hair. He looked adorable. And that was the last sane thought she had before he pushed open the door.

She was completely taken by surprise when he took her in his arms and pushed her back against the door closing it with a loud bang and forcing the air out of her lunges.

"You're not closing another door on me tonight, Montana!"

While she still tried to catch her breath he looked into her eyes and before she could stop him he softly pressed his lips against hers. She dropped the towel she was still, almost desperately, holding and grasped his shoulders.

Not in her wildest dreams could she have ever imagined that kissing him would be like this, her instinct took over instantly and she opened her mouth to welcome his tongue. His strong body pressed against hers and the feeling of the warm drops from her hair and the cold drops from his, sliding down her chest, made her shiver.

When he felt her shake, Danny slowly let go of her mouth, looking into her eyes. Still out of breath she had no power left to try and hide her feelings for him. He could clearly see her passion and knew that whatever it was she had to figure out, it had nothing to do with her feelings for him. "Danny, we…"

"No, Montana" he put a finger to her lips to silent her. "No buts, no doubts, no regrets. Tonight it is going to be just you and me, Danny and Lindsay, no past no future. I know you have to leave and I know you will be back, but since we both can not predict how and when and what it will mean for us, I think we deserve this one night."

She looked into his eyes and knew he was right; she deserved this, he deserved this. There was no way she could deny this anymore, deny him. She took his hand and led him to her bed.

The lights of the Christmas tree reflected in her eyes as she slowly dropped her robe on the floor. "You are right Danny, I am going to leave and I don't know what the future will bring, but this night, this cold December night I am not going to lie to myself anymore, this night I am yours."

He gazed at her beauty in the soft light of the tree and then he quickly closed the distance between them. He licked his lips, smiled and pushed her down on the soft snow like sheets.

THE END

* * *

Please tell me if you liked it (or not).

Perhaps I will continue this in a new story, but I am not sure about that yet.


End file.
